Gen Z Romantic Gets Taught a Hard Lesson About Love and Social Media, Getting Burned on TikTok After Having an Epic First Date

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2023 9:00 AM EST

Dating was hard enough before social media, but kids nowadays have to endure far worse dating struggles. As a person who found their soulmate just before the emergence of all those dating apps, I feel like I go on the last evac helicopter out of Nam. 

There are so many nuances when it comes to dating in 2023. Does someone have normal-looking socials? Do they post too much? Too little? What about their selfies? Are you about to date an influencer, an open book, a fraud, or a serial slayer? With so many lenses view a potential partner through, how do you know when you're seeing the full picture? In this next story, a Gen Z dater took a hit that many hopeless romantics are used to feeling: the punch to the gut after a seemingly great date. u/ThrowRA_Consistent12 learned a hard lesson in love the day he stumbled upon a 'harmless' TikTok video from a girl he thought he really connected with. 

Scroll for this surprisingly hopeful tale of a guy who got burned on TikTok by his date and decidedly swore off influencer girls for good. 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/ThrowRA_Consistent12 I [26M] found her [28F] TikTok after we went on a date. This is honestly not something I expected to post about, but
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 02
    here's the thing. I have known this woman [28F] for a while since we are in the same friend groups. She's a nice person, attractive, and honestly, I've always enjoyed my talks with her. A few weeks ago, I [26M] asked her out on a date. I
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 03
    figured, if she says no, it's fine. But she actually agreed. We went on a date this past Saturday, and honestly, I thought it was awesome. We went out to dinner, had drinks, spent the rest of the night talking, and we even took a
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 04
    walk on a walking-bridge over the town's lake (it's not a big one). I dropped her off and was elated. I absolutely loved the night. However, that night when I was
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 05
    scrolling through TikTok on my bed, a post from her (I didn't follow nor knew she had a TikTok) appeared on my 'For You' page. Essentially, she said in the post, "Getting ready for a date I really don't want to go to."
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 06
    That was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on my head. I was so freaking happy, and I just found out she didn't even want to go on a date with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 07
    not saying she has to want it, but please, let me know if that's the case. We don't need to go out. We can forget I even asked her out. But doing this, on the internet? It made me... self- conscious? Not sure if that's the right word.
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 08
    Now, I'm unsure about what to do. Should I tell her I saw this or just forget about it? Honestly, it really hurt me, and I'm not really sure I want to give this another try. I mean, she didn't want to go out with me in the first place. Right?
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 09
    TL;DR: Asked [28F] out, had an amazing date, later discovered her TikTok post indicating she didn't want to go out. Feeling hurt and unsure whether to talk to her about it.
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 10
    only_crank I just wouldn't ask her for a second date and let it be. Don't give her fuel for her tiktok. Just tell her you don't think you're a good fit if she asks.
    via u/only_crank
  • 11
    [UPDATE] Hello, everyone. Some people have reached out to me through comments or chat, asking for an update on the situation. Sadly, there isn't much to share at the moment, but I'll provide what I can. Please keep in mind that I won't be discussing this further, nor will I reply to comments. Thank you for your understanding.
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 12
    After last week's post, I read almost every comment, or at least most of them. I'm thankful to all those who commented and shared a bit of their own personal story. Some people mentioned that anxiety is normal and feeling like not going out is definitely common, suggesting that I shouldn't look too much into it.
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 13
    While I agree with their perspective and see no fault in not feeling like going out, what bothered me the most in this situation was having to post a TikTok for a significant audition. I'm a private person by nature, and even my social media accounts, like Instagram, have only a single post. I don't really like to
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 14
    overtly share, nor do I want to be with someone who does. It's completely fine to share whatever you want; I just don't want to be a part of it. So, I decided not to contact her. I chose to pretend I had never seen the post and let things be. I
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 15
    understand a lot of people might think this isn't the best choice, but I feel it is the best course for both of us. Last Thursday, a few friends, who also happen to know her, invited me for drinks. We went to a bar, and
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 16
    while we were eating and enjoying our drinks, a mutual friend asked me how my date went, as our circle was aware that we were going on a date. I didn't want to say much, so I just replied, "Oh, it was good, but I don't think we clicked."
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 17
    This friend followed it by saying, "We figured," which made me feel rather uneasy. When I asked what he was talking about, he hesitated but eventually said that they had seen a TikTok post from her about not wanting to go out. At this point, I didn't really know what to say. This situation is just incredibly messy for me, but there's not much I can do about it.
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 18
    Still, I wasn't going to mention it, nor did I try to look up if there was any update on her part. In fact, I deleted TikTok after that incident. It just wasn't doing me any good. Nevertheless, this past Saturday, she sent me a text. She mentioned that she enjoyed our date and asked if I wanted to go out again.
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 19
    I understand that she clearly stated that she enjoyed our time together. However, I don't want to be with someone who exposes so much of their personal life. It's not something that would be good for me. So, I decided to tell her the truth and sent a text explaining that while I absolutely enjoyed our date, her
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 20
    company, and that I thought she was an amazing woman, her post from the night of our date came across my For You page on TikTok, and it made me feel really self-conscious. While I understand that she enjoyed the date, contrary to
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 21
    what she felt at the time of the post, I didn't feel comfortable going out with someone who had such a high level of exposure online. I wished her the best and expressed hope that she finds someone whose lifestyle aligns with hers.
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 22
    She has read the message, and left me on read ever since. I don't think she will reply, and I don't think we'll have a lot of social interactions going forward. I'm sorry if this wasn't the update you guys were expecting. But yeah, sadly, that's what the situation became. Anyhow, wish everyone a good day.
    via u/ThrowRA_Consistent12
  • 23
    VanMan32 Early 30s Male I was late to the party on the last post you made. I think what you did was right. You gave your explanation in a way that she couldn't really milk it for content. If she did use your response for content, she would have been ...... on so hard and labelled a person. Hopefully, this is a good lesson for her going forward.
    via u/VanMan32
  • 24
    humbahumba Outstanding work, OP. I hope you meet someone who is considerate of your privacy and time. 479 Reply Share Howard Phillips9 Dude totally handled it like a pro.
    via u/humbahumba
  • 25
    Russian_Paella I would like to believe some people can learn, but the lack of reply to the message screams a) she isn't used to rejection and b) a passive aggressive "did a date reject you because you are big on TikTok?" is being recorded as we speak
    via u/Russian_Paella
  • 26
    MED
    via u/canva

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first date epicute date lesson burned relationships heartbreak gone wrong social media love life gen z love dating gen z dating tiktok
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